It’s been three years since my last solo journey. In 2016 I wandered through Visayas for a month. Good friends joined me on some legs of the trip; strangers shared my journey through the rest. I clearly remember when it happened. It was a beautiful day, and I was sitting in front of the beach right outside the cottage I was renting when this sinking feeling crept in. I don’t know why I was doing the things I did.